What's been happening lately?

Hello readers,

We haven't posted in while so I thought i'd pop in and keep you all up to date with what's been happening.  With us both being on holidays we've been enjoying sleeping in and doing some fun things (like watching the Melbourne Rebels first practice match).

With the adoption quite a bit has happened.  On Wednesday the 12th, Tee had his second individual interview with the social worker.  It went pretty much the same as the last one that he had.  They asked him a lot of the same questions that they asked me and in particular 'Why do you want to adopt?'

We have both found that at times it is difficult to verbalise feelings.  To the previous question there is the obvious, but there is also just that feeling that for us, this feels right.  The social worker also asked me 'Why do you love him?'  There are a million reasons but sitting there on the spot, I found it difficlut to define it in a short space of time.

This Wednesday we had my third interview scheduled, but not all went according to plan.  To cut a long story short, due to events out of our control we ended up having to occupy ourselves for a couple of hours and then the interview was turned into our first joint interview.  Although the delays were somewhat annoying, the joint interview went really well.  Instead of focussing on the past it focussed on the future, what we wanted, how we wanted to raise the child, education and basically our theory on parenthood.  The social worker was quite positive about our answers which we were happy with.

So at this stage we still have another individual meeting each and another couple interview, plus our home visit but we are starting to get somewhere with the process.  I would guess at this stage that we will get to the panel sometime around April but we are not sure as yet.

Kay xx

Why Doesn't she adopt

At the risk of being politically incorrect or insensitive, I've been angered by an article in the paper today.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/give-us-a-girl-plea-couple/story-e6frf7kx-1225983885268

To summarise the article, this couple has 3 healthy boys (all concieved naturally) and had lost a girl.  In their efforts to have nother girl they undertook IVF and fell pregnant with heathly twin boys which they then aborted stating that they could not have an infinite number of children. They are now applying to the victorian Civil Adminitration Tribunal (VCAT) to fight for the right to choose the sex of their child.

OK so from the perspective of one who was not able to successful have a child through IVF, I have a couple of issues with this. a) they aborted twins for no medical reason b) the issue of sex selection will open floodgates for those wanting to control other factors c) I feel for the 3 boys that they have already knowing that all their parents want is a girl.

But this is not really what upsets me.  In the article, Bob Phelps (Gene Ethics Director) said "They sound like good parents and could offer a home to a child who needs one." and then suggested that they should adopt overseas.

This brings me to one of the most ignorant statements, Why dont they Adopt?

There are a number of reasons, the one that screams out to me is that she has not come to terms with the loss of her daughter.  Showing that you have had councelling and have dealth with losses and hardship is one of the criteria to being approved.

Secondly, in Australia and particularly in Victoria adopting is very difficult.  There are only a handful of countries which have active programs and a majority of those programs give preference to infertile couples or couples without children, so this would significantly limit their options.

Third, they may have no desire to do so

There are many other reasons, but I will stop there.

Yes, given my position and what Tee and I have been through we probably have a different view to others.  But the abortion of not one but two children just because of their sex is wrong.  IVF clinics can not play God and now should they.

I hope that this couple can see their blessings, they have each other and three healthy sons. 


Kay

Post Mortem: Interview #2

Yesterday was the 2nd of my individual interviews in this local adoption process.

I went in this time feeling a lot more confident about what to expect but in the end, during all of this at times you need to expect the unexpected.  At the start we just sort of went through some pleasantries about Christmas and then a recap on what we had discussed last time.  For the next hour or so it was all about me, my favourite times I had as a kid, my realtionships with my parents and siblings and then just some general stuff about friends.

After that the tact changed a little.  We discussed mine and Tee's relationship before moving on to some general chat about the process and adoption in general. 

So, I am at least going to have another individual interview before we move onto the couple sessions.  Tee see's the social worker again next week and then hopefully we will both go in the week after.

Cheers

Kay